50+ Comical Morning Slogans | A Cheerful Start

Ever notice how the word “morning” often sounds like “mourning” when you first wake up? You’re not alone! While dawn might be breaking, many of us feel a bit broken until that first cup of coffee kicks in. But here’s the thing: starting your day with a laugh can be just as energizing as your favorite caffeine fix. We have rounded up 55 funny morning quotes that completely sum up the love-hate relationship we all have with early hours. From witty observations to coffee-fueled wisdom, these quotes will help you embrace-or at least tolerate-those early hours with a smile.

The Early Bird Gets the… Coffee

1. “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” – Benjamin Franklin
2. “My morning routine: Wake up. Try to wake up. Give up. Drink coffee.” – Unknown
3. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” – Lewis Black
4. “Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” – Glen Cook
5. “I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope for the best.” – Unknown

These quotes perfectly capture that early morning struggle we all know too well!

The Snooze Button Chronicles

6. “My bed and I have a special relationship. We’re perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.” – Unknown
7. “Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday.” – Unknown
8. “I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” – Jaime Cabrera
9. “The first thing I do each morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” – Dorothy Parker
10. “Sometimes I wake up and think ‘I can’t do this.’ Then I laugh and pour some coffee because I’m hilarious and totally got this.” – Unknown

Who hasn’t had these exact thoughts during their morning battles with consciousness?

Coffee: The Morning’s Best Friend

11. “Coffee is the only thing getting me through this morning… Well, that and mascara.” – Unknown
12. “Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.” – Stephanie Piro
13. “My coffee machine is the most committed relationship I have right now.” – Unknown
14. “I drink coffee for your protection.” – Unknown
15. “Life begins after coffee.” – Unknown

Coffee truly is the hero we all need in the morning!

Morning People vs. Everyone Else

16. “Morning people are just way too perky for my taste.” – Rick Riordan
17. “I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I’m a sometime-after-coffee person.” – Unknown
18. “Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the refrigerator.” – Unknown
19. “I yawned so hard this morning I think I dislocated my soul.” – Unknown
20. “The only way I can get myself out of bed each day is by promising myself coffee.” – Unknown

These quotes perfectly sum up the eternal struggle between morning people and the rest of us normal humans.

The Morning Struggle Is Real

21. “I need my morning coffee to help me remember what I was angry about yesterday.” – Unknown
22. “My morning routine: Open eyes. Close eyes. Repeat until coffee.” – Unknown
23. “I’m not sure if I actually woke up this morning or if I’m just walking around in a very convincing dream.” – Unknown
24. “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.” – Unknown
25. “5 AM: My body has no idea what I’m about to put it through.” – Unknown

We’ve all been there, questioning our life choices at dawn!

Motivational(ish) Morning Thoughts

26. “Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.” – Nanea Hoffman
27. “The morning is full of possibilities… and coffee stains.” – Unknown
28. “Every morning starts with an act of courage and hope: getting out of bed.” – Mason Cooley
29. “I can do anything today, except wake up without coffee.” – Unknown
30. “Morning motto: Whatever spills, stays spilled until after coffee.” – Unknown

At least we’re trying to be positive, right?

The Philosophy of Mornings

31. “A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.” – Unknown
32. “My morning hair looks like I’m about to drop the hottest album of 2024.” – Unknown
33. “I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.” – Unknown
34. “The only problem with morning people is that they exist.” – Unknown
35. “I love the smell of possibility in the morning… Oh wait, that’s coffee.” – Unknown

Deep thoughts brought to you by caffeine!

Morning Wisdom

36. “Morning is like nature’s way of saying ‘Good luck surviving today!'” – Unknown
37. “The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day.” – Henry Ward Beecher
38. “My morning routine consists of hitting snooze and regretting it.” – Unknown
39. “Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” – Ursula K. Le Guin
40. “The morning is wiser than the evening.” – Russian Proverb

Some actual wisdom sneaked in there between the jokes!

Early Bird Special

41. “The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.” – Unknown
42. “I’m not a morning person because my spirit animal is a sloth.” – Unknown
43. “My bed is like the Bermuda Triangle. No matter how hard I try to get out, I keep getting pulled back in.” – Unknown
44. “I’m pretty sure my coffee thinks I’m in an abusive relationship with my alarm clock.” – Unknown
45. “Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and likely to tell lies about it.” – Unknown

These early birds might need some coffee too!

The Final Stretch

46. “The only thing preventing me from being a morning person is morning.” – Unknown
47. “I don’t snore, I dream I’m a motorcycle.” – Unknown
48. “My morning routine: 1) Lie in bed. 2) Check phone. 3) Consider the meaning of life. 4) Scroll social media. 5) Panic about time.” – Unknown
49. “I’m not sure what’s harder: the morning or my coffee.” – Unknown
50. “The best alarm clock is a Monday morning to-do list.” – Unknown

Almost there, just a few more to go!

The Grand Finale

51. “My morning starts backwards – first coffee, then I do things.” – Unknown
52. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.” – Unknown
53. “My bed is currently holding me hostage and demanding more sleep.” – Unknown
54. “They say every morning is a gift. I’d like to know where the receipt is.” – Unknown
55. “The only morning exercise I do is stretching the truth about how much coffee I’ve had.” – Unknown

Whether you are a bright-eyed morning person or someone who requires multiple cups of coffee just to make complete sentences, these quotes remind us that we are all in this together-the morning struggle. They show us that it’s okay to take our time waking up, to need that extra cup of coffee, and to find the humor in our daily morning battles. After all, every morning is a new start, even if that new start comes after hitting the snooze button a few times.

So the next time you drag yourself out of bed, just remember these witty words of wisdom and take comfort knowing somewhere out there, thousands of others are sharing your morning “enthusiasm.” And after all, laughter may not be the best medicine, but it is with certainty a close second to coffee!